I am sitting here at the YWAM campus in Lakeside, MT resting and looking back on the past 2 1/2 months of my life. I was talking to Amy yesterday about how I haven’t really journaled the things that have been going on. I have started to journal, but at times it was just to painful and so I would delete my entry in hopes for a better one the next day. For a while there that better day never came. So that brings me here, 2 1/2 months later and no entry of my thoughts. So, I am going to take the next couple of weeks and post on how my life has been completely wrecked and given back to me starting on September 29, 2011.

We are currently on a brake from a 5 month tour with Steps of Justice. Below is 1 of the 2 entries I have written, they are the basis of what God has been doing in my life.

Entry 1. Sunday October 30, 2011. Camping for the night in Lakeside Oregon on the Justice and Worship tour.

I am 3 1/2 weeks into this tour, but I am only starting to post today. That is pretty much because I am only starting to understand my thoughts. Well, for my reading enjoyment and yours when and if I decide to publish these thoughts here is my tour posts.

Im realizing that there is no where to run when you are on the road with your family and friends for 3 months and living in a 31 foot box on wheels. When I am at home I can run to work, go out with friends for a beer or coffee or go to my room and read. When I am here I can’t really do any of that. For the most part my truck is attached to my house and my house is connected to my truck, so I am basically screwed for getting away.

I am with my family on this tour more during the days than I even have been. We wake up together, do school and work together, eat all meals together, watch tv or read books together and go to sleep in the same room, separated by accordion doors. I am in no way complaining, it is just different and I am realizing it more and more every day. I have been on edge, highly emotional, insecure, confused and stressed almost since day 1 and I think it is only in the last few days that I am figuring that this is why.

It has been a crazy yet beautiful 3 1/2 weeks. In it we have had our trailer fixed twice, our truck fixed twice and have almost crashed 87 times (hehe). I also found out my sister Julie has melanoma cancer. She has it pretty bad, it has been hard for me to accept it or even take it seriously cause I am so far away and know that it will wreck me if I do. Even as I sit here typing this I am wrecked, mainly cause it is the 1st time I have put it down in writing and I am realizing that my big little sister could be dying.

Dear Jesus, please heal my sister, Im scared.

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