Today, with no thought of doing it whatsoever I started thinking. Thinking about why I am here, In Kona, and thinking about what my roll or purpose is while I am here. To catch you up, Amy is here doing a school of photography. We have been involved with YWAM since 93 and other then doing our entry level school (DTS) we have not done anything with YWAM other than staff programs and schools. It has been a desire of Amy’s to do this photography school for a while and this winter there was room and we felt it was time to do it. So here we are.

So, what am I doing here? This has been a transitional season for me. I believe that life goes in seasons, just as God created life to do, but this season has been more difficult for me than others I have gone through. This season seems to be a season of rest from work and YWAM responsibility. This season is a season where I am the primary care giver of our children so that Amy can enter into a season of schooling. I like seasons where I am busy. Busy doing things and going places. Seasons where I am not resting, but producing and getting things done. So here I am in Kona, not busy, not producing, well not producing what I feel is necessary and not getting things done.

I have talked to a few people here, some who are in leadership and some friends and the message to me seems to be the same, “Phil, this is a time for you to rest. It is a time for you to stop and listen to God, to rest in Him.” I don’t want to rest in God, I mean I like the concept and the idea, but it is hard to do. I like to produce, I like to go, but God is saying stop. I have even tried to make things happen while I am here. I talked to the DTS department and offered my time and even though they said that would be great and would email, but no email came. I have been frustrated with the times of worship here, but even in that I feel God saying “don’t get involved, don’t complain, just listen to me.”

So on I go, listening to God. One thing I do know is that for the first time in our marriage since having kids Amy feels free to pursue her dreams. I also know that this time is a beautiful time for me and my girls. We spend all day together playing, reading, eating and napping (them, not me). I also hope this time sets a president (is that the right word?) in my life of what is important. It is important to have a good balance of work and rest, office time and family time, praying and listening. I hope that it changes my life and also the lives of others who see me and what I am doing. I don’t want to miss this time that God and YWAM Kona has granted to me, I pray that I don’t.

Thanks.