Today, with no thought of doing it whatsoever I started thinking. Thinking about why I am here, In Kona, and thinking about what my roll or purpose is while I am here. To catch you up, Amy is here doing a school of photography. We have been involved with YWAM since 93 and other then doing our entry level school (DTS) we have not done anything with YWAM other than staff programs and schools. It has been a desire of Amy’s to do this photography school for a while and this winter there was room and we felt it was time to do it. So here we are.
So, what am I doing here? This has been a transitional season for me. I believe that life goes in seasons, just as God created life to do, but this season has been more difficult for me than others I have gone through. This season seems to be a season of rest from work and YWAM responsibility. This season is a season where I am the primary care giver of our children so that Amy can enter into a season of schooling. I like seasons where I am busy. Busy doing things and going places. Seasons where I am not resting, but producing and getting things done. So here I am in Kona, not busy, not producing, well not producing what I feel is necessary and not getting things done.
I have talked to a few people here, some who are in leadership and some friends and the message to me seems to be the same, “Phil, this is a time for you to rest. It is a time for you to stop and listen to God, to rest in Him.” I don’t want to rest in God, I mean I like the concept and the idea, but it is hard to do. I like to produce, I like to go, but God is saying stop. I have even tried to make things happen while I am here. I talked to the DTS department and offered my time and even though they said that would be great and would email, but no email came. I have been frustrated with the times of worship here, but even in that I feel God saying “don’t get involved, don’t complain, just listen to me.”
So on I go, listening to God. One thing I do know is that for the first time in our marriage since having kids Amy feels free to pursue her dreams. I also know that this time is a beautiful time for me and my girls. We spend all day together playing, reading, eating and napping (them, not me). I also hope this time sets a president (is that the right word?) in my life of what is important. It is important to have a good balance of work and rest, office time and family time, praying and listening. I hope that it changes my life and also the lives of others who see me and what I am doing. I don’t want to miss this time that God and YWAM Kona has granted to me, I pray that I don’t.
Thanks.
Phil,
Your support to Amy in pursuing her dreams and taking care of your girls for this season is admirable. Your precious family remains in our prayers that you will experience all God has in store for each of you this season.
May the abundance of His grace and joy be ever present in your lives.
Stephen
Good stuff
This week, for the first time in my life, I took a day of personal retreat. I drove to the coast and sat by the ocean. I was gone for 9 hours. Most of those hours I did nothing but sit and listen to waves and watch the tide and listen. I had a romantic idea of what that was going to be like. I was so looking forward to the peace and quiet and rest. At first, it drove me a little crazy. I couldn’t turn my thoughts off and I found the need to do something driving me. But I knew I was just supposed to be there. Rest is hard work. Hang in there.
You’ve gone to Cambodia to play with the kids there. It’s time to be in Hawaii playing with your own. Sweet.
Keep resting man…and focusing on those girls…who knows, that may help to “produce” some wonderful young ladies. I’m praying for you!
Phil, I’m proud of you. Did they even make you do a work duty? My advice would be to find out the evening of the month when the observatories pull out their telescopes and you get to look through them for free. It’s on the way up to that big mountain that i forget the name of. Sounds pretty sad and it probably is, but it’s still fun.
Hi Phil! Thanks so much for being such a good dad. God must have had a plan for you and your family. We really appreciate what you are doing for Amy too! I think your girls will always remember this special time they had in Kona.