The other day I was playing with my daughter Emma and her friend Amelia. The girls were taking turns sitting on my lap, but Emma got a bit jealous and told Amelia that she didn’t want her to sit on my lap and then walked off. Amelia, after Emma walked off slapped my hand, jumped off my lap and ran off crying to Jane, her mom. Amelia was completely broken and just crying to her mom and saying “mom, I miss my daddy. I want a daddy to cuddle up to. I want my daddy so that I can have a daddy to sit on.” You see, Amelia’s dad walked out of then when she was 3 and now he is back in England while they are here doing a school.
I sat there on the grass with my friend Jim speechless. All we could do was watch this beautiful little 5 year old broken and collapsed in her moms arms sobbing for her daddy. This was on Wednesday, and today I spent some time talking with Jane. Wednesday was the first time since being here, 7 weeks, that Amelia has been like this over her dad. Since Wednesday she has been talking about him and her feelings of sadness that he is not here. She has also written and talked to him on the phone. Later on that night Jane and Amelia came over and hung out with us. Amy and Jane talked and I played with the kids. Kids are so resilient and strong.
The injustice here is that children all over the world are growing up without a father, or father figure in their lives. Now there are different circumstances for all divorced families, but in general I feel that kids need a healthy, strong, loving father in their lives. It breaks my heart and brings me back to the desire I have had for as long as I can remember for kids to have good families. This is why I volunteered at the women and children’s center in Seattle and why I am drawn to kids who don’t have dads in their lives.
What do you do about this story? How does it make you feel? What do you say? I am not sure, but it is very real and I pray that I can do something.
Wow Phil, thanks for posting this. It hits close to home with me because I work with kids who are raised in predominately single mom households. Our church started an afterschool program for a government housing complex. I had no idea how warped their concept of love/family/marriage etc was until I started talking to some of them. For the kids I work with, it’s not normal that i and all of my siblings have the same father, let alone a father who is married to my mom and lives with us. They think I am weird and it makes no sense that my father is around or that he is not just my “momma’s boyfriend.” I get questions about it all the time.
I can see the effect it has on these kids to grow up fatherless. It’s really really sad. I am trying to get more men to volunteer with us because I think it’s important for these kids to see men who are faithful and loving and caring. I pray that more men would come to realize what you have realized and would also, like you, feel called to do something about it.
It makes me sad everyday to see the devestation. These girls seek love from boys to fill the hole left by growing up fatherless. These boys turn to anger to shield insecurity, they aspire to be gangsters and treat women with no respect because they have no example of what it means to be a strong man.
I could talk forever about this. I am so passionate about trying to provide kids with healthy families. I don’t know what to say except that it hurts to watch. Thanks again for sharing and I will certainly keep Amelia in my prayers.
Dam that sux
I feel compelled to write a response……. but I got nothin except i’m glad me and erica were brought up with both parents, it just makes relationships easy that way.
You are blessed to have a full family these days
Wade
hey bro…
hmmm… words doesn’t really do “justice” to this situation…
it broke my heart watching it all.
I just wondered what was going through Jane’s mind as she consoled Amelia.
What’s my response? I don’t know… even though the situation sucks I love the fact that Jane is RAISING UP and coming here to press into God. I’m so encouraged by the people that I am seeing here know that God is indeed HOPE, so they are sacrificing and taking risks to trust Him in that area.
I’m excited about this situation because even in our human failure God’s character remains the same.
Phil I appreciate how you chase after God’s heart and walk it out daily bro.
Jim Baker