I was just on The Resurgence blog watching a clip from the new teaching series that Mark Driscoll is doing. In the video clip Mark and his wife Grace talk about stay at home dads. You can watch it here, but before you do I know some of you reading this do not like Mark or what he has to say. I am not bashing him here or even trying to give you a reason to. If you just want a reason to bash Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill Church go somewhere else, this post is just for discussion and because I found it interesting. I found some points that I agreed with and others that I did not, but I think that we can learn from everything. Throw out the wrong, learn from the right.
OK, now that you have watched it I will give you my thoughts, and hopefully you can share yours. There were a few things I thought were great.
1. Grace talked about how children need their moms. I agree with this and with authority. I was our daughters primary care giver from Jan. through March this year while Amy did her photo school. While it was one of the best times of my life, I saw over and over how and why children need their mom. They need their dad for fun and love and protection, but they need the love and attention that only a mom can give.
2. I agree with Mark that men need to provide, I disagree though that it means your not a man if you don’t. I agree also that it is best if the mom is able financially that she stay with the kids instead of having a day care raise them. I hate it when families don’t have enough so they resort to having both the mom and dad work. I am sure that most parents must hate this as well. I am both blessed and thankful that God has provided so that we don’t have to have our kids in day care every day.
In this though there are a few points that I disagree with . Grace and Mark both mentioned 1 Timothy. When I read it it says that “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Now I am no bible scholar, and I am certainly no Mark Driscoll, but when I read that, in multiple translations I see nothing that says Man must provide. If I am wrong please point this out, unless you are reading this Mark, then you already have.
I also don’t agree that women are built to stay at home with the kids and that women must be primarily busy at home. I think that a woman has her rolls and a man has his, but together they need to figure out how to work best around each other’s schedules and responsibilities. I love that I get to be at home with my kids a lot. I love that I get to work from home, although sometimes I hate it too.
In saying all this, and in trying to process it out loud I see that children need both of their parents. I see that most of the time it works for the man to work and the women to primarily raise the kids, which most of the time is harder work than the man could ever do. I also see that Mark and Grace seem to know their rolls very clearly and it works for them. My home life is not perfect and Amy and I still struggle with it as we both work with YWAM, but we are getting better at it and i think that the thing that is healthiest is to communicate and know what God is saying and has already said.
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