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3000482466_9bcf87a7a1_b.jpgIn part one of this journey I talked about the day I found out that my dad had left home. I remember the flight from Seattle to Winnipeg very clearly. It really was like a dream that I hoped to wake up from. The thoughts of “did this really happen? This is a joke? I will be so relieved when it all works itself out soon” kept coming into my head. The fear and nervousness upon landing was overwhealming.

James, my brother in law picked my up at the airport and I remember asking if it was really true. We drove through the city and he updated me on what had transpired so far. They had a police hunt out for my dad and the woman he was with. Their car had broken down somewhere in Ontario and they had hopped on a bus and continued east. No one had heard from him, no one could find him and everyone was worried and in a state of shock.

I remember walking into my parents house, the same house that I had grown up in and seeing the living room full of people sitting on the floor and the couch. My mom came over to me and just wept as I held her. I clearly remember her apologizing over and over that this had happened and it was what I was coming home to. I really had no emotion to give at that time, I was numb and in shock.

It is crazy when I look at the the good friends that are in my life today as most of them I met for the first time that evening in my parents house. Friends who stood by my mom and came by her house daily for weeks to bring her comfort and just to sit with her in a time where there were no words to give. Friends like Colin and Jodene and and Allan and Pat Herbert. Thank you so much for the support that you gave to my mom during those first few months when she had nothing to give to herself.

There are many people I will be thanking as I journey through this with you, most of whom I will only remember through this time of remembering. That night, after a long time of crying, silence and prayer we all went home or went to sleep dreading another day, but knowing it was inevitable.

Picture by Amy Cunningham

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12 comments so far on “My story part 2

  1. Tom Seward says:

    Hi. I’m still bothered about this. Probably not as much as you have been.
    Your folks are still some of my favorite WPEFC people
    (BTW… How is your mom doing… ?)
    Al was a hoot, and an encouragement.
    It is shocking to see the choices we make that can really lead us down bad roads, isn’t it? The good news is that God is not finished with him yet.
    What’s done to the family can’t be repaired to its original fullness. But God is still ready to forgive Al with wide open arms. Unconditional love…

    I need some of that myself…


  2. Clayre says:

    Wow. I can’t even imagine it. I’ve witnessed a few painful things like this during my life, and its AMAZING how friends and family are there quickly, to hold, encourage, and just be with those who are hurting. It’s a powerful display of God’s love and faithfulness.

  3. phil says:

    Thanks Tom for your reply. Your family meant a lot to us for sure. They were one of the first families to take us in when we moved there. I know that it is hard for so many people and mind blowing. My dad was and still is a good man, but he had to sacrifice a lot because of this. I still have hopes and dreams, but it is going to take a long time for things to be totally repaired. Dad is taking great steps in this, I see hope in that. Mom, well she has done remarkably well. She is lonely and obviously puts of defenses as she was hurt in more way’s than anyone should be.

    Thanks for caring.

  4. mike says:

    Hey man-
    Thanks for allowing me to read into parts of your life. It encourges me

  5. Trevor says:

    Friends…they are brought together in tough times…they are tested and proven strong (or weak) in hard times…I know that I can survive very little without the support of friends. I appreciate the friends I have, who have proven themselves in tough times, and I pray that I can be that kind of friend to others. Thanks for sharing your story.

  6. sister says:

    i cant help think about a talk emma and i had 2 weeks ago when we were hanging out together.We were talking about emmas broken polly pocket when out of the blue she asked me antie do you miss your dad?it took my breath away as i want to protect emma and abby from this pain as i do with steven and ashleigh but she wanted to talk about this.I told her yes and she repleid antie i think that if your dad would just talk to nana things would be better.Antie nana and your dad are just broken and when my polly pockets break i just fix them maybe nana and your dad could just talk and fix things.Threw my hidden tears i told emma that Jesus is the only one that could fix papa and nana.What a very wise little girl!

  7. Lanette says:

    Hey, Phil! I’m truly sorry for the hurt and frustration you have gone through as being involved in this type of situation. I have great sympathy as this has been by far the most difficult year of my life! I have benefited from good counseling and would, if you feel so led, highly recommend the same. It has helped me to take all the stuff (hurt, disappointment, anger) and figure out ways to both work thru them and live with them without it wrecking my well-being. I appreciate you sharing your story, I truly believe it helps to move you in a positive direction for healing! And, again…..I’m just so sorry!

  8. phil says:

    Thanks Lynette and thanks for the advice. Amy and i were in counseling for a while after that, it was good and healing, but some of it you just need to deal with as it comes up. Sorry that it has been such a hard year on you as well, what is going on?

  9. will says:

    hey phil…thanks for blogging, it’s really good. I totally know what your talking about we need to talk soon. Send me a email with your phone number. talk to you soon


  10. […] Philter « My story part 2 […]

  11. Tom R says:

    Hi Phil. I’m a friend of Brandon, who linked to your blog from his. Your story was both riveting and tragic. The older I get (I’m 37), the more I learn about the widespread brokenness of many families. I feel as if I’ve either directly experienced or been witness to every dysfunction possible. I have long desired to write some of my own family experiences, as you have, but it requires great courage to write with such transparency. I admire your courage to write about something so intensely painful and personal. I also envy the semi-cathartic experience it must be for you. Thanks for sharing yourself with others.

  12. […] week’s post talked about going home after hearing of my dad leaving. I have been thinking some this week about […]

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